It’s serenely quiet this morning; as if, everything around me is feeling blessed with the start of this holy month. I was supposed to read a dua through the PA this morning but did not feel like doing it for reasons that I did not know myself. Sometimes you feel awkward in the morning and needs a bit of time to warm up. But things at the faculty are not rejuvenating at all lately. The work , the people and the things we do seem to be getting more difficult and complicated, day by day. I don’t see any resolution in the near future; and believe me, I feel it in my bones. Let’s talk more about it later. Today is the start of new opportunities to redeem myself for the worthy of rahmah, maghfiroh and free from hellfire. A good sign is that I feel good, healthy and energetic to accept the challenges that will come with this Ramadhan. I want to feel the impact of what I do instead of just routine rituals that we went through every year. It’s gonna be my 40th Ramadhan (started to fast at the age of 7 or 8) this year and that is a lot of Ramadhans to be contemplated with. I think my real Ramadhan started only 5-6 years ago when I really felt the joy and the blessings in solat and fasting. I notice that I will gain more khusyu’ in solat and ‘feeling full’ in fasting when I do away with all the ‘food rituals’—such as thinking what to buy later for iftar, what should I have today or does my kitchen have this or that for iftar. It’s difficult, I know, because we always associate fasting with food to entertain our body and mind for the next 7/8 hours. When the mind is busy or occupied with the ‘ food thing’ then how can it will be ready for something that is more rigorous such as solat or reading al-quran. It will be a mighty task and that will eat up your khusyu’ and fasting energy. I will eat my normal food when I get up every morning which is toasted bread and a glass of milk—so that’s my sahur for Ramadhan. And later for iftar will take my usual dinner—and that goes for everyone in the house. I usually skip lunches so no food at mid-day is quite normal for me. Sometimes on a bad day I would sneak to the kitchen for a quick lunch but that did not happen so often—I am a diabetic and lunch would mean the body will go into a sleep mode for the rest of the afternoon.