So did you balik kampung on CNY break?

Wednesday. End of CNY break. Didn’t go anywhere. Didn’t plan to. The car broke down as a punishment for being too lazy to plan anything for the break. The misty Wednesday morning turned drizzling as the morning traffics ‘stop and go’ like a clockwork. Somebody got smashed down in an accident along the way as the morning rush came to a crawl. I didn’t look or try to figure out why or who….the morning blues seemed to make everything silent like you turn the sound off your TV. A drive to  work felt like a long drive to nowhere. Work is always burdensome no matter how you look at it. Maybe for a few days we can pretend  that the work is our passion, our hobby or whatever  but sooner or later it will come down to just “Darn! Am I stuck here or what!”.  The gloomy sky and the sound of raindrops make the day more  depressing.  I really want to go back and enjoy a cupper with wifey ,chit chat with my daughter and son, pat my cat and just look at my wild garden……and see the day goes by and me growing old with my family at the side. Now I know the reason why grandpa and grandma used to avoid travelling afar, at this age we treasure things closer to home.

I left early for home. Leaving a lot of work unfinished; the report, staff evaluation, the PFI planning etc. The heap of things to sign and approve just piling up. Never-ending chores that have started to annoy me. But it’s okay because that’s how I work, when things get tough I would withdraw and do something else. Most of the time it would eventually get done by the time it is due. No problem. The PFI planning is the most challenging task so far. I don’t find it difficult but needs some time to get it going. The number of lecturers to fill up the teaching positions at PFI campus is almost ready. With the help of KPP, we manage to come up with the numbers; now those numbers must be translated into a list of names. I reckon by next week we can finalize the list and get it approved in a meeting.

It’s gonna be difficult for everyone involved, yes, I agree to that. Change is always a challenge. And change also is inevitable wherever you are. When the top management said when mobilizing the lecturers to our new PFI campuses please  not to break a family, take the wife away from her husband or move the mother from her children, I raised my middle finger… a sign of frustration. The sweet talk won’t help at all, it won’t facilitate change but instead makes things very difficult. I paused and took a breath and promised to myself that this won’t create stress in me that will eat my life away. No way, will do it my way with my own pace.

A lady came into the office looking very nervous. O yes please have a seat….it’s about your application to extend your study leave….we would like you to consider another option. Before I finished my sentence she just broke down. Felt very awkward as to why I put this lady in such a terrible situation. All I want to do is to be fair to her as well as to myself and the whole system  of values and beliefs. The talk went on for over an hour with all the drama that you don’t really want to know the detail. In the end she refused my suggestion and insisted to proceed with her application. So I failed to convince her about a better alternative. I guess for me to champion  the art of leadership is still far way off….better luck next time.


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