Another day ended at the office. Not that busy, I must say, but a few dropped by for various reasons. Briefed the Dean for meeting and bengkel I attended the last few days. And those were important stuff so I am proud of myself for being able to manage them quite handsomely. So far I am doing okay and can still control myself not to unleash the beast in me. I hope I would never have to do that but who knows sometime the inevitability will eventually come around. Working with students is great. I’ve never imagined that I would be given this opportunity again after all these years. I mean I used to work with students when I was a young lecturer back in the 90s in Dungun. I spent hours with them organizing events and making trips. Back then it was work, I mean extra work beside going to classes and conducting programming labs but somehow I never complained of anything. When I recalled those times, I realize now how lucky I was for being given the task with the students. They were precious moments that we captured together. Unfortunately I don’t have any photo or videos of any of those events and beautiful times with my students—because for me it was part of my duty as a lecturer, so naïve. Maybe this time it is my second chance to do it better— to capture every moment spent with a snap or detailed document. Yep, I have been doing exactly that but so many of them already and I just could not keep track where the photos are and who I was with. I guess now things are a lot different as the students are a lot younger than me—most of them are as the same age as my first or second child. As a father figure I see them differently now more than before. I understand better why they make mistakes and I know what to say now to make them realize their mistakes. My primary concern now is to reach out to every single one of them and get to know them better. It’s gonna be very interesting, I think, hopefully I won’t face the brutal ones. But again those would be the most interesting lot.
Met the counselor recently and she briefed me on the psychological status of our students. And these youngsters are unbelievably naughty. I just could not imagine the pretty faces are so wild…when day turns into night. As if, I am entering a whole new world when the story unfolded . As a lecturer , I would never have a chance to know this…didn’t really care to be honest. But now how could I not really care? They are my students apparently. Someone has to do the dirty job and dig in for something. I will think of something don’t worry about it.
Generally the shadow of previous TD is still here. Students as well as staff are missing the dynamism and happy-go-lucky nature of our previous TD. The usual noise and laughter was not around anymore. This has made my job a bit difficult; because I am not a joker and prefer to remain silent when working. But it’s more like having a new stepdad around the house. The feeling of “aaarrrgghhh—what now??” is visible every now and then. I can’t be and act like him, I am me and that’s it. I am sorry that you miss him but I am here now and I have work to do so please excuse me. I will take it slowly and be patient as much as I can but sometimes things are difficult to handle. I hope time will heal and people can accept me “ se adanya”.