Days are counting down for my wife and I to go on that trip again. The hajj trip. It isn’t our first time but the excitement seems to be mounting on until it has started to become an anxiety. Long journeys make me sweating at night and nervous like the time tok mudin was about to cut off that part of my penis. The time I wished the world should spin faster and faster. The good news came in early Shawal through a phone call saying that our plea to go for hajj this year has been considered and there might be a couple of seats if we are interested. From that moment onwards I just could not stop thanking the Almighty Allah for His blessings upon us. Although this would not be our first trip to Mecca; the opportunity to go back to the holy land alone is unbelievably ecstatic. Maybe some of us who had been there would understand the feeling of joy and serenity for being there; the place where it all started. Then the rush began to do medical check up, making sure the passport is still valid and attending all the courses required for all bakal haji (future hajj). With that little time and short notice we managed to get everything done including the Kursus Perdana (the one they gathered everyone from the whole state and do the practical part of hajj.) Well, everything is practical in hajj but the simulation during this kursus really gave experience to some especially how to handle one self and the other half with the huge crowd. I followed this kursus as closely as I could, when the tears could not stop flowing I know this trip would not be the same as the previous ones. As if my soul and my mind were so happy for having this chance again. Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah.
The medical report cleared me as a healthy bakal haji but I know it could turn otherwise in any moment of time. I pray to Allah for my wife and I to be healthy and strong throughout this trip. I went for a stress test and ran on that treadmill with my chest strapped down to a computer. I thought it was simple and easy ; but hey please don’t underestimate, the test was serious and strained your heart to the limit. The test started with an easy walk, then the speed was increased and the floor has slowly become an uphill track. I think the level was changed a few times during the test until I finally breathed through my nose and I was gulping for air to keep me running. Then it stopped at 98% performance with the blood pressure was clocked at 160/90 ( I don’t know why he did not go for 100% performance , the doctor never explained). I guess that’s good enough. The verdict was OK; my heart was able to function correctly with the pressure increases proportionately with the pace and came back down when the pace was slowed down. It’s supposed to function in that manner. However there is a slight abnormality (referred to as “borderline dilated”) of the heart due to my hypertension, it will take sometime to heal through medication, the doctor said. I am OK and feeling great so I hope will stay this way for a long time. But one thing I realize after that test is how vulnerable our heart really is. It’s soft and beating steadily 24/7; how come we don’t take a good care of it…someday it will stop beating you know. So I hope we can start now by eating well, exercise regularly and listen to our heart everyday. Every now and then let the doctor listen to the heart, he/she will tell you how healthy your heart is.
We also managed to do the khenduri as the way to tell everybody that we are going. I am not good at this really I mean I don’t know why I should let everybody know where I will be going—I will get nervous and all. But this time I just played along and invited everbody (well almost everybody). Only two out of all my 343 FB friends turned up.I guess it’s time to start a house cleaning and throw away some old furniture……hahahaha. Sorry bad joke!. They all sent me their well wishes instead, thank you all. It was a merry occasion, nonetheless, everyone in the neighborhood came over and wished my wife and I well. That’s all I asked for, I mean this is the first time we hold a khenduri since moving to this area about five years ago. I was happy to see them all. And I did not know that people give money too…..I felt so guilty as I never give money to people going haji…..I guess I should’ve learnt my lesson well.
My friends and colleague at the faculty have also conveyed their well wishes over and over again…until I decided to take an early cuti before the departure. People are so nice I really don’t know what/how to respond. I guess that’s our culture and traditions that our people have been practicing for a long time . Anyway, the preparation has come along very nicely I think. The work at the faculty has been handed over for the time, the classes have been rescheduled, the food has been stocked for a good one month or so, the kids are in order insyaAllah, the cars….well ..both are not well, one has a broken bearing and another a broken a/c compressor with a 3K price tag so let it be for a while, the cats have their food and litter box in order……..hmmmm..I guess that’s it…..I can start putting on the bracelet and try out the ihram cloth. It’s a bit tricky with the ihram cloth because you wear it without the underwear…..so you know….when my friend got breezy you will easily get a hard-on, an old man with his dick sticking out isn’t a pretty thing to see, need to practice so my friend will get used to without the undergarment. Things will be okay InsyaALlah.
To tell you the truth, I just can’t wait to get on that plane. I will be there for 44 days and that’s quite a long time to be away from everything back home. I don’t know what to expect…this time I really and completely leave everything to Allah.
Labbaikala syari kala kala baik
Innal hamda wa nikmata
Moga Allah mempermudahkan segala urusan kami
Memberi kekuatan dan kesabaran mengharungi segala cabaran
Dengan hati yang tenang dan terbuka
Bersama jiwa yang bersyukur dan hati penuh taqwa
Kami datang ya Allah dalam keringat dosa
Mengharap keampunan dan kerahmatan Mu
Kami datang sebagai bukti hanya Mu Tuhan Maha Agung
Mengikut jejak amalan para rasul dan anbia
Mungkin pengorbanan ini kecil tapi inilah yang termampu
Terimalah doa dan pengorbanan ini Ya Allah
Dari insan kerdil yang berkelana di bumi Mu ini ………..