I left My Heart In Trolak

I received the letter with a heavy heart
The word “team building” was written so boldly
Like a decree from the heavens
Sending you to hell
hate team-building, my little heart told me
had been through it so many times
just too old for that now
so I searched for reasons
like many of us ….reasons not to come
nothing there, as if I was looking for a cookie in an empty jar
finally gave up and turned in the reply
I ticked “hadir” and looked away
As if I’d regret it later on

I am now glad I came
Saw old faces with new smiles
Old jokes with new laughs
Battered soul rejuvenated
And …
I saw new faces…intimidatingly young and energetic
Vibrant and dynamic
Fragile and naïve
Made me forget
How long I’ve lived this life
For another day… I am me again
Fresh and free
Unleashed……from the sacred wall of authority
We share the same laughter
Hallowing at the stupid jokes again
Life seems easy and fun

The horse-shoe line we made that night
Made me feel so guilty
For stepping over my elder brothers and sisters
For whatever reasons
In whatever circumstances
The invisible hierarchy of hope and respect
I will remember that …..

I wish the night would not end
So I could see the brilliant smiles again
Hear that big laughter once more
Or make that sound of chicken, cow & cats again

Do I have to go back ?
To the papers, reports and documents
to the never-ending miseries
Facing the monsters and the dragons…
The lions and the tigers …..
It’s not fair, isn’t it?
But life is never fair ….
The memory of this night
Would make me fresh and warm again
For a promise of better days ahead ….

So I left my heart there …
As a reason that someday
I’d go back and pick up
All the memories and the laughter
And smile one more time …….

Marilah kita merungkai segala yang kusut
Menjernih minda yang malap
Mereda hati yang gusar
Membetul niat dan rasa
Agar hari dan masa
Diberkati dan direstui olehNya………

8231 Ixora4
Felda Residence Trolak
27 June 2010

2 thoughts on “I left My Heart In Trolak

  1. So I assume you are back with a much gentler soul… more forgiving and accepting… if that is the case then darn it I should have been there!!!!

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  2. well I am not sure I am much of a gentleman but it was the opportunity to discover your colleague and where you are in the “invisible structure of the faculty”. I don't want to step on someone's foot, not anymore, just to push your way forward. I can't forgive myself for doing that so I need to know where I stand. Maybe other people have different opinion on this. It was fun actually; you should have been there for the fun of it. No military-style attitude from anyone. No surprises. It was a good weekend in the country. The physical activities were all easy nothing to exaggerate “the old folks” muscles. It was really OK.

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