This time around we celebrated Raya with strange mood and different thoughts. For the first time we set our own priority for visiting relatives; only close ones and no returns if the first call has no answer. Tough luck maybe next year. Two days at the kampong and we headed back to Shah Alam. The streets were still empty and shops still closed. My kids were confused but they just went along. Why are we back so early? asked one of them. I have no answer to that so responded with a blank stare back. I have to ask myself that question and look for an honest answer. Actually we have nothing to celebrate just a sad feeling of Ramadhan going away. We were so busy with work that Ramadhan were not spent well with full amal and ibadat. We should leave office for the whole month and work up the full spirit of Ramadhan. I guess time is running out for us being old and all; in a sense it’s true but the interesting part is that I live to feel the sweetness of solat,siyam,qiyam, doa, sadaqah and good deeds, Alhamdulillah.All because of Ramadhan al-mubarak. And today all that is gone and not sure whether the spirit can remain in me until the coming Ramadhan; may Allah give me strength and courage. So this Raya that strong sense of loss overshadowed the bang bang of mercun or the delicious food that come in only once a year. The hectic shopping and kueh preparations are also low key. So it’s okay.
Life is so cheap, don’t you think?you do or do not do life, it’s up to you. Big loss or great disappointment is only for you to measure. The sigh can be long or short depending on your effort. So I think live your life the way you want it to fulfill your dreams and needs; otherwise life can be such a waste. Life is a journey not a destiny(I think I read that some where…so true isn’t it). There will be a point in time when you just could not car less what movie is coming on the first day of Raya or the second or the third…as long as they can keep the kids happy it’s alright. So tired of showing off the new car every time you balik kampong;some people still do this,especially the young and stupid ones, so I just smile and look at the sky if lightning can strike now. The kids are getting bolder and bolder in asking the duit raya…..we don’t know you folks but come for the duit raya, can or not? Isn’t that like begging? But for the spirit of Raya we just don’t bother…at least they know and have the courtesy to ask. I just appreciate that spirit, so here you go with my prayers and hope for your better future and good life.