Sometime you wake to the sound of your noisy alarm clock and found yourself so complete and composed. You listened to your heart and it pounded to the rhythm of perfection. Nothing happened out of ordinary; it just that you feel so lucky to be alive and thank God for that. You wish to go out dancing naked in the street to tell the world how wonderful it is to be alive….just like Jimmy Stewart in “ Dancing in the rain”. You know that feeling. I guess that might be happiness; the one that everybody is going after. But again in life different people will get different taste of happiness. And some even resort to pain for happiness. Strange world isn’t it? I guess after living for so many years you can feel happiness like someone pinch you on the arm. It’s no longer a rhetoric but a true physical thing. I can feel whether I have delivered a good lecture or not…and every time I will search for that feeling. Sometime I waited till the very last minute or even to extend the time so I can have that good feeling. It is the understanding that have come and stood there for. Age must be the factor and through the years I have struggled to please other people. I must do what’s right so people won’t see me so weird and outcast. That dodgy perception is no longer haunting me and I just don’t give a damn what others say. I voice out certain issues just to clarify my understanding and satisfy the need for myself to know that I have my own opinion. I really do it in good faith not to rack the boat or anything. The other day I commented on an issue at my faculty in response to the events this weekend. They organize Bengkel pengurusan Jenazah, Bengkel Penyembelihan Ayam, Praktikal Penyembelihan Ayam, and followed by a Khenduri using those ayam. I found it a bit weird and sent out an email saying that I don’t feel comfortable to have “death”, “killing” and “feast” all in one. After the death and killing part I don’t have an appetite for a feast anymore. And the responses were so hard that I was accused “animal lover” and “ don’t kill others’ spirit if you don’t want to join”. Some people just could not accept criticism whatsoever. Well if you want to know we are now living in the 21st century and the old custom for not saying anything has long gone.
My happiness in life is my wife Salwana , my children Aqeelah, Ifah, Una, Maryam, and Ahmad. They truly make my life so complete. Errrrrrr….and last but not least ruffy, feena, friday and sunshine……my lovely cats.