Just Glad To Be Alive

It’s Monday; and some people just hate Mondays. But today, ironically, I’m glad to be alive. The moment I woke up for Fajr prayers at 6 am this morning ; I felt so fresh and so thankful that I would live for another day, InsyaALlah. Do you have that feeling sometime? I am sure you do! A kind of feeling that looks forward for another day or another week. A very contrast picture when you open your eyes and feel like an old wet dirty cloth that smells terrible. So tired and hopeless as life has given up on you. I guess this is what the ups and downs in your everyday life. Like a wheel that rotates; round and round to count the moments that we have.I long for my purpose in life? Why am I here and for what purpose?

Today while I lined up for the prayers with the rest of my community, I sparked a thought that I want to do something good and big for the people. The kind of activity that serves the very purpose of my existence. I am waiting for that moment. So far my intention remains good on paper and seems to be nothing but just a thought. I led an NGO since last year but all my aims and effort did not materialize as expected. In the end, I left with unfinished tasks and a huge waste of time. For me it was not a mistake, it was just not meant to be my avenue to work. Then I started another NGO —IHSAN—a kind of parent support group for my children’s school in Shah Alam. I see no clear way as well. Maybe my fate is somewhere else; my effort is needed somewhere in the world. I don’t really know; just waiting for any opportunity to go and to serve.

In the meantime, I will be here in the city of orchids trying to understand the political dominoes that have started to crumble the states administration (in Perak and now Selangor). Getting pissed off for no place to park my car at the faculty and being outrage when there are still people don’t know how to queue up. A kind of ordinary events happened to ordinary people at the ordinary time interval in life.

But, please,I am no ordinary man!

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