The time I hated life

(updated version)

It was like yesterday when I started school
The best school in the whole wide world
…..so they said
Can still remember my mates
Some faces looked so nice and friendly
The others blank and lost
But later they all had one thing in common
Bold and brutal
Ready to kick ass who ever in the way
So my life began
….. at a place some called heaven
but for me it was nothing but hell
Form One was always exciting
The teacher came in and asked where have all the chalks gone
I went away and came back with a bunch
They made me a monitor for that effort
Not that I know how to be one
Just wanted to impress the girls … the pretty little girls
I tried to get one … the girls I mean
But never succeeded…they went for the macho ones
I dreamt on …until I realized what I was good at … dreaming
They called me names (never mind…you might have guessed it anyway)
For the stupid face with no hair and the sweet little ass that I have
They put me in a hostel … I mean hell !
The big boys knew about my sweet little ass
And started to chase me around when the lights went out
I’d end up at the place where I always hid…. the toilet
Sometime I woke up and still there …. in the toilet
I was weak and small and never put up a fight
So lonely and confused I could not imagine
how I got through all those years
full of misery

One time this boy asked me to swap beds
I sleep in your bed and you can sleep in my bed
Night after night after night
I just didn’t understand why but never dare to ask
This swapping thing went on for a week or so
And then one night he said
I sleep in your bed but you can’t sleep in mine
Now, where in hell am I suppose to sleep ?!
Come to think of it , now I realize what it was all about
He didn’t want to make up his bed in the morning !!!
So naughty ….

Everybody was into sports…except me
I hated sports, just about everything about it
Especially the one they called standard sports…remember that one
When everybody has to participate
Running , jumping, more running and more jumping
OMG just could not get over it
I hid in the locker when there was one
Sports practice and all…
Did not want to make a fool out of myself
Once, I got caught by the warden
That was the worst day of my life
To get herded into the field
Where everybody else was running and jumping

I was okay,though
Made my own secret world among others
I hugged myself and closed my eyes
And my world opened up before me
No one else…no teachers, no wardens, and no bullyheads
Just me and my thoughts
We ran into the wilderness to seek solitude
…to run away from it all
Such a beautiful moment, so peace and quiet
Did not want to open my eyes
to see myself weak and helpless
poor and tattered
life was not fair, I said through the tears
I had been asking a lot of questions
But no one was there to give any answer
I looked up the skies and the clouds
And hope for the wind ….
…….to blow away the pains

But I knew one thing
I was there to study and make good grades
I liked books, study and all
But never made good grades
It was enough though
To get me through and out of that hell hole
Soon I found life outside was no different
brutal and unforgiving
…… I fit in real well

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s