My life could have been better; but it was not. Maybe I have been paying the sins of the past; life was quite wild back then. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise; but then I am not that optimistic. Maybe it is just a test from God…yeah…maybe, I am not that sure myself. But one thing I can pin point is that I suffered and my family was hurt. I don’t want to blame God or anyone for that matter. Life is full of uncertainties; and because of that we made wrong mistakes or took up unfavorable decisions. It was not easy; just go on living and hope for the best…whatever that means. Living is not easy to spell out, we must experience it to understand and comprehend all things that make up our life. Sometimes good thing turns bad in a matter of days. Happy moments becomes deep sense of disappointment within a split second. High hopes dashed by a single utterance. Anything can change. Anything. Whether we like it or not.
I started the year of 2008 with high expectations. Being made President of an alumni association, I had many many reformed agenda to change the association for the better. I created a platform and set a trend only to find out that they are the monsters that will suffocate me to a near death. I have been the victim of my own circumstances. I learnt the hard way between the thing you want to do, what you can do and what you can do better. Pick the one you know for sure. My reason was “ I love my alma mater so much I would do anything to help out”…..huhuhu…so naïve…you need more than that, a lot more. I planned for a retreat just collect myself and put my thinking together before I do anything else.
Then I changed my daughter’s school from Maahad Muhammadi in Kota Bharu to SMK Seksyen7, Shah Alam. The main reason was due to her health. Being so far away we could not properly monitor her health which has resulted her being ill without a proper health care. My wife and I decided to take her home. She has improved ever since. There was an Arabic class at her school so she enrolled and added another subject to her PMR. Everything went smoothly until she got her PMR result yesterday. 8As and 1B. Guess what the B is?..Bahasa Arab. For me she has done excellently. That extra B is the result of my own failure….my unforeseen mistake. And we all have to live with it. For not realizing that the new Arabic class was so new that they didn’t even know how to run it. There is only one student got A for Arabic in that class, 1 B and the others are God knows what. How could they make experiment out of my daughter’s future? Another misery!
I had some extra RM100K lying around in the accounts. Feeling so rich. The feeling that makes your head so big, your heart so warm and makes you walk like a rich man. Before long I bumped into a friend who needed some cash to open up a new business. Ahaah….that will make me richer……let the money work for you…invest!. I gave out RM50K as a loan. Then another friend came along to open up a primary school, without much thought I gave the other half as a loan as well. Education is a noble cause. The business is not doing well; as we all know the credit crunch in the US and Europe has affected our businesses in one way or another. Now I am RM100K less richer. Feeling so poor and stupid. I am not sure about my investment; I hope to see my money again….sob…sob…..soon
Then we had that dengue fever. A gruelling reminder that life is not yours. God can take it back anytime. Never to forget that.
Finally, on the 28th of December, my daughter Aqeelah went for PLKN..in Sarawak!. Of all the places why did she has to go so far away? I am mad to the government for doing this to me and my daughter. Has any of the menteri’s children gone for PLKN? I don’t think so!.
And so we say goodbye to 2008 !